Music is a companion we all can run to in times of sorrow, victory, joy, and a lot more emotions we can attach to any of our favorite songs. In my song list, the month of July of this year began with songs sang by Moira Dela Torre and some of them were written by her as well. I first heard her from the famous OPM song "Titibo-tibo". I liked the song and still do. It even won the Himig Handog 2017.
She faded away from my radar when she released songs I couldn't even relate with, songs about love and broken hearts from a romantic relationship. I believed I was not the least interested in those types of genres. The message was just too heavy for me and I lack empathy with the songs since I have never been in a relationship, more like I can sympathize, but empathize, I have to be honest I had not yet reached that level during those days.
Fast forward to 2021, I met Moira Dela Torre for the second time and it was through the song "Paubaya" that was released in early 2020. My workmates had mentioned the song in one of our conversations and how it was so hurtful or mapanakit as they termed it. I brushed off their comment I was not still the least interested in Moira's songs.
Again July came and the "Paubaya" song crushed my heart. I even attempted to make a reaction video and all I did was cry and cry. I posted the video reaction but decided to remove it right away. haha. I couldn't bear my reaction and how I cried so much. I sobbed. I wept. I even wailed. What a rage of emotions I had that moment!
The music video of the song got me thinking what if I was one of the main characters, either Julia or Josh. Would I be able to handle and process properly the sorrow and grief that are about to take me given the situation? Would I be able to let go of someone I loved so much? Would I surrender so the one I love can be free and happy with some other person? Would I choose a sane decision of letting go of the love I have for him? Would I make it out alive after experiencing such loss?
I was dwelling on those unanswered questions for the first few days of streaming the song. The trilogy, Patawad paalam, Paalam & Patawad featuring I Belong to the Zoo and Ben&Ben also hit me right where it was needed. They were hurtful, like salt put on an open wound. It felt painful.
The realization that came upon me after the repetitive streaming of the song "Paubaya" is that a person does not surrender the one they love to the other person, instead it is an act of surrendering to the One who knows it all, who is in control of everything. That in one's loss, he or she can gain a lot through God. There is a lot of wisdom to be learned in Moira Dela Torre's songs.
Her songs seem hurtful because sometimes the truth can cause us pain, so much hurt that sometimes we thought it was something that we can no longer bear. Maybe that is God's way of calling our attention and telling us that now is the time to surrender, to let go and let Him carry the weight for you and me.
3 He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.
4 He determines the number of the stars;
he gives to all of them their names.
5 Great is our Lord, and abundant in power;
his understanding is beyond measure.
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