Who is God?
I did not know who God is.
Do I know Him?
I did not know the real Him.
Do I have that intimate relationship with Him?
I thought He hated me because I kept on sinning--and I still do. I thought He did not want anything to do with a sinner like me.
But I was wrong.
I am weak in the human flesh. So weak... But that did not and never cause Him to love me less, instead, He loves me more, more than I can imagine.
You might be thinking how do I know that He loves me no matter what. How do I know that He will never love me less? How can I be sure that despite my weakness or in its plural form I am loved and protected?
In any human relationship, we must have an intimate relationship with a person to know them better and the truths about him or her. We spend time with that person and talk to them on a regular basis. And just like in human relationships, to have an intimate relationship with God, we also need to spend time with Him like attending Sunday worship, having quiet time with Him, being part of a small group or Bible study, talking and listening to Him through prayers.
By spending time with Him through my quiet time, I am knowing more about Him and putting my trust in Him as a grow and live my life with Him. His promises to you and me, I hold them, dear, to my heart because I know Him, I know His truest character and He never fails.
Psalm 62 CEV is the Scripture during my quiet time with Him last Sunday, June 14. It is only now that God is allowing me to post this blog entry. This chapter says:
God Is Powerful and Kind
1 Only God can save me,
and I calmly wait for[a] him.
2 God alone is the mighty rock[b]
that keeps me safe
and the fortress
where I am secure.
3 I feel like a shaky fence
or a sagging wall.
How long will all of you
attack and assault me?
4 You want to bring me down
from my place of honor.
You love to tell lies,
and when your words are kind,
hatred hides in your heart.
5 Only God gives inward peace,
and I depend on him.
6 God alone is the mighty rock
that keeps me safe,
and he is the fortress
where I feel secure.
7 God saves me and honors me.
He is that mighty rock
where I find safety.
8 Trust God, my friends,
and always tell him
each one of your concerns.
God is our place of safety.
9 We humans are only a breath;
none of us are truly great.
All of us together weigh less
than a puff of air.
10 Don’t trust in violence
or depend on dishonesty
or rely on great wealth.
11 I heard God say two things:
“I am powerful,
12 and I am very kind.”
The Lord rewards each of us
according to what we do.
I am not an expert in Bible verses but these are the truths about God that are revealed through His word on Psalm 62:
1. He is the only one who can save me no one else (Psalm 62:1).
1 John 5:11-12 And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. The one who has the Son has this eternal life; the one who does not have the Son of God does not have this eternal life.
2. He, alone, keeps me safe (Psalm 62:2).
Psalm 18:2 The Lord is my protector; he is my strong fortress. My God is my protection, and with him I am safe. He protects me like a shield; he defends me and keeps me safe.
3. Only He can give me inward peace (Psalm 62:5).
Romans 5:1 Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
4. God honors me because He loves me (Psalm 62:7).
Isaiah 41:10 ESV Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
5. God is a trusted friend, my confidant (Psalm 62:8).
John 15:15 ESV No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
6. God is powerful and very kind (Psalm 62:11-12).
Psalm 147:5 ESV Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.
7. He is a rewarder (Psalm 62:12).
Hebrews 11:6 KJV But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
Reboot your life and start your journey with Him now!
Know God more! Be intimate with Him! Have that intimate relationship with Him!
Need someone to talk to? In need of prayers? Message me, I'm willing to listen and pray for you. May God bless us all!☺
Are you still lost?
I was lost until He found me. I am found. No longer lost. And from my journey of finding Him, He instead found me. I am grateful to be able to publish another poetry book. I intend that this book may glorify my God, the One who found me again. This is for Him. All for Him. For those who feel lost just like I was, may you find Him and be found by Him. He is your Shepherd, if you are lost He will definitely come and find you. May you be victorious in fighting your battles, just like I did. With Him all things are possible. May you also develop a personal relationship with Him. Know Him more, know Him better.
A little teaser from the book:
You can't stop me.
I will keep on moving forward.
You can't shut me out.
I will let my voice out.
You can't tell me what I am.
You have no right anyway.
I am what I am.
That's the truth you can never change.
I pray that this book may inspire others never to give up. I pray that you will endure all your struggles and overcome them. If you feel less, don't be. You are worth more than you can ever imagine. He redeemed us and paid the most expensive debt one can ever have. He loves you. Come to Him if you feel weary and burdened, He will give you rest. Peace and joy will overflow in your life. You are loved. So don't give up!
Too hot!
Sizzling hot!
Nathan Grant's and Victoria Bennett's romance escapade is not for the faint of heart, and I would not recommend this book for humans under 21 years old, both for males and females.
Tempting Victoria is a new adult novella written by Filipino author Mina V. Esguerra. I already read some of her books and most of them are sweet and clean romance. The best read I got from her works is That Kind of Guy, and finishing Tempting Victoria made me think that her style did mature as time passes by. It is a short read with a bonus story Kissing Day, about Chris and Diana.
Not so long ago, I made a rule that I would not, temporarily, read books with sexual tensions. After almost a year, the rule expired this week. I needed an ice breaker as I read Paulo Coelho's book set. Following Dear Alex, We're Dating. Tama, Mali?! Love, Catherine, Tempting Victoria is my second break.
Just like any other books I read from Mina V. Esguerra, I enjoyed reading Nathan's and Victoria's romance. There's a lot of teasing, kissing, and sex, and they could not deny the physical attraction between them. I just sighed whenever they gave in to their desires. The female lead, Victoria Bennett, is projected as someone who is capable and in control of her choices in life, but not until when it comes to falling for our male lead, Nathan Grant, he, on the other hand, is a chic magnet and who loves to have sex with women whom he finds attracted to him.
Vic tried to deny Nathan, but she just could not do that. How is that even be possible? I kid you not.
Get a copy of the book, if you want to more about how they end up together despite all her rejections and denial. I was surprised Nathan did not give up on her. And again read this, if only you are 21 years old and above, and you are not faint-hearted, alright?
Though I would prefer it if they got married first, before doing it, and I know how primitive my idea is, but that is just a thought from me.
I'm coming out! I'm coming out. I want the world to know. I've got to let it show!
|
| Selfie was taken circa 2015 |
I am beginning to open up myself to others. Slowly, gradually, I am stepping out to make another debut in the world of society. But this time I am not doing it alone. I have someone greater than anyone has ever lived. I have someone who is all-powerful. I have someone who never runs out of love for me. He never fails me. But I did many times, I failed Him. But He forgives me always. He even sacrificed himself to save me from death. He is my salvation, my redeemer. His name is Jesus. The Son of God.
Last 2019, things got messy in my life. I was broken. Crushed. I was seeing death as something trivial yet scary. All my possessions, what I had achieved were temporary things I could lose any time. I realized there were things I could not control or even change, more so death.
I had this thought that the pain and grief I felt would be easily gone if I just die, and that was an easy way out. I gave up fighting. Because I always only got hurt. People did not like me or what I do. They rejected me, the real me. I was not good enough and all of us would just die anyway, so why even try to live? If you live, you will just die. Life was meaningless, pointless, even hopeless.
I was withdrawing from physical reality.
I was living to die. I was...
But, then...
Someone pulled me back to life. He sent angels through people who might know me or not. A divinely orchestrated plan led me back to The One who loved me first. To Him who always chased me. To Him who never let me down.
To my LORD.
I lost to surrender my life to Him and learned a lot and still learning and re-learning a lot about Him. I love Him, yet I know that He loves more and more, deeper than the depth of the sea. My brokenness works just like what Romans 8:28 says: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose."
I was no longer a slave to my pain, grief, guilt, and shame. I am free. I no longer carry a heavy burden, because Jesus said in Matthew 11:30, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." And He brings me genuine peace, the kind of peace Paul said in Philippians 4:7, "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Now, that I know the lengths, the heights, and the depths of God's love for me I no longer have the idea of wrong love, the kind of love this world projects and humans unconsciously acquire.
Matthew 22:39 says "And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself," --love others as you love yourself, see? You must love yourself the right way first, God's way, before you express the right kind of love to others. Knowing God and having an intimate relationship with Him will give us more opportunities to learn more about the kind of love He wants us to have and to share with others. How to do that? Own a Bible. Read His words. Talk to Him. Pray to Him.
Some of my Learn to's to better love yourself the right way.
1. Learn to say no
We have that tendency to always yes, even though we want to say no. I think we have that innate mechanism wherein we often do things to please other people. We take pride in saying yes all the time. We do not want to let down other people because they have some expectations, if not too much. As I became an adult, I thought I have to please every single person around me. I was so afraid to disappoint them, though I acted like I did not care I was so scared to be hated by people.
I always wanted to make a facade that I was capable of doing anything assigned to me. I was trying to act like I was a jack of all trades due to the fact that I was so afraid that others might say I was useless. That's why I had a habit of saying yes if someone was asking me for a favor.
So, next time someone asks you for something let's say a favor, it would not be so bad if you take your time and think about it before giving a response. Instead of pressuring yourself and letting others down might as well consider it first. It will be hard in the beginning, you may feel guilty and think of yourself as a bad person. But you'll get through it, pray for it.
2. Learn to take it slow
Do not rush yourself. If something needs to be done, let's say a task from work, give yourself time to think. Give yourself space. Breathe in, breathe out, before you start anything, whether it is work or personal task, much better if you even pray for it. Don't rush. Take it slow. You can pause and rest if things are tiring you down.
3. Learn to give not only take
I came from a poor family, so I tended to get stingy sometimes. I had this idea that I should keep more to myself since I did not have much. I did not hate giving, but I took more of what I could and what I should.
I thought if I kept more I would have more. Yet, in God's economy, this belief is so wrong. It is more like the more you give, the more you will be blessed. It will return to you ten folds, you will live abundantly. Spiritual and physical. You will not be lacking. He will supply all your needs. Needs, not want, alright?
So share what God has blessed you with, and always ask for discernment. We are born in this world with nothing, we will leave taking nothing. We are the stewards of all His creations. We should take care of them and never abuse them. Be more giving.
4. Learn to forgive yourself and others
Don't be hard on yourself. Lower your expectations. People make mistakes. People will disappoint me and you. You and I will disappoint others as well. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Be more forgiving to yourself and others. If God can forgive us, who are we to deny ourselves and others of forgiveness.
I have to learn and re-learn all of these because they take practice and discipline to make them a habit. The truth is we are still in our sinful nature, our own flesh reeks of sin. It is hard for a naturally bad-nature human to be good without learning and discipline. It takes habits to form a character, a good one. Despite the messy parts of our lives, God did not forsake us. He sent someone to save us so we can return to our original form. God loves me. Period. So be sure to love yourself, the way God does.
So, again, who else will love you? None other than, but Jesus, certainly, eternally. Accept Him in your life and you will never be the same.
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